and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
