maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
