This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
