He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You ate ashes out of my bong
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