If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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