There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
