My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
