two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
MIDGETS
????
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
