No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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