we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
