HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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