True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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