So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
