I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
