thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
