I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
