I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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