Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
