my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm just crazy horny about you
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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