Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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