I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
