the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
