Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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