The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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