Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
