My hand turned me down
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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