I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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