woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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