are you so shy because you have an std?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
