I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
