You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
