But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
