I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
