I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
