New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
