Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
