I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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