I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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