You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
