There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
