Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
