it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
