No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
