If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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