turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
