It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
