so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
