What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
