no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
