I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
