you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
