I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
